A woman causes a group of assassins to face their greatest challenge.
For her first assignment a lady journalist tracks down the head of an organisation offering to kill, for money, people deserving of such a fate. She thinks herself very clever when he agrees to take a contract with himself as the target. What she doesn't know is that her paper's owner is second-in-command in the Bureau and has his own reasons for supporting her challenge.
Back in the mid-'60s, Diana Rigg was probably responsible for jump-starting the puberties of millions of baby boomer boys, thanks to her portrayal of Emma Peel in the hit BBC program "The Avengers." At any rate, along with Anne Francis' turn on "Honey West" and just about every woman in the first five Bond movies, she was certainly responsible for jump-starting mine, and I love watching her in anything she does even today, almost 40 years later. (Seeing her "Medea" on Broadway in 1994 was especially satisfying.) In "The Assassination Bureau" (1969), Diana plays a British (natch) freelance reporter in turn-of-the-century London who infiltrates Oliver Reed's titular organization (a sort of political Murder Inc.) and hires him to put a hit on…himself! Thus starts a series of wild and woolly escapades, as Reed races all over Europe trying to kill his organization's principals, before they can do away with him. We get tongue-in-cheek episodes (filmed all over Europe, and with lavish production values) involving a Parisian brothel, a Swiss bank, the beer halls of Vienna and the canals of Venice, all culminating in a fierce, exciting battle on an airborne, primitive zeppelin, with the fate of the Continent hanging in the balance. The film moves along very briskly and is quite entertaining, and Curt Jergens and Telly Savalas (who starred with Rigg that same year in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service") add delicious supporting performances. Diana, need I say, looks absolutely gorgeous, especially when shown in those frilly undergarment and bathtub scenes. Featuring a literate, witty script and consistently amusing and inventive situations, "The Assassination Bureau" is a real treat indeed. And Diana Rigg's exquisite presence is the yummy icing on an already tasty cake.
"The Assassination Bureau" has nearly everything that money can buy - which doesn't include the laughs. It takes you on a tour around Europe, the period recreation and the production values (apart from a couple of instances of iffy effects) are splendid, the cast (including 3 Bond veterans) is distinguished, but as a (black) comedy, the film is not particularly funny, and it's also too long. It does have its own unique flavor, however, as it combines the comedy with an offbeat romance between Oliver Reed (uncommonly charming) and Diana Rigg (quite beautiful in period clothes, though nearly upstaged by Annabella Incontrera) and an action climax (including a swordfight aboard a zeppelin) that would not be out of place in a James Bond movie. And I have to admit that the ending IS pretty funny. **1/2 out of 4.


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